Finding a Confidant: I found this very useful. I've always had problems identifying people I can count on and always try to handle my problems on my own. Then the weight bears heavily on me and i feel hopeless. This is an inspirational piece that was helpful to me in identifying the type of person I need to fall back on in times of crises. There are 100 billion people in the world. Why would you want to carry your burdens alone?
1. Humility. Seek someone who doesn’t try to impress people. Proud, self-righteous people are concerned about themselves and their image more than your needs and struggles.
2. A spirit of hope. A negative, fearful, or unhappy person can shadow all conversations with pessimism and woe. This kind of attitude can erode faith that’s already fragile.
3. Concern. If someone competes with you or has misrepresented you, avoid him or her as a confidant. Find someone with genuine concern but who won’t allow that concern to keep him or her from being honest with you.
4. Honesty. Flee from anyone with an agenda. If someone has something to gain by befriending you, keep looking. Along the same line, examine your motives regarding the person you choose as your confidant. For example, if your bad choices have left you on the verge of bankruptcy, a sudden urge to tell your troubles to the wealthiest person in the church probably indicates a hidden agenda.
5. Strength. It is tempting to choose a weak person as a confidant so you won’t feel so bad about yourself. Avoid anyone whom you can manipulate.
6. Availability. The person in whom you confide should be available and your lives should intersect (at church, work, or school). Proximity will give him/her the opportunity to observe your behavior and confront you as needed.
7. Gender. Persons of the opposite gender should be considered unavailable as confidants because unhealthy infatuations and emotional attachments are likely to develop.
8. Spirituality. Before you seek solace, encouragement, or direction from anyone, make sure he or she is a Christian. If you fail to do this, you’ll be adding more confusion to your life than you’re eliminating.
From www.newlife.com
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
10 Tips for Dealing With Jerks
1. Realize that you can’t please everyone – even Jesus had trouble with that … And there was a grumbling among the multitudes concerning Him; some were saying "He is a good man"; others were saying, "No, on the contrary, He leads the multitude astray." ~John 7:12
2. Difficult people thrive in the center of controversy … Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife. ~Prov. 26:21 Don’t be drawn into unnecessary situations. Misery really does love company!
3. Set clear personal boundaries for appropriate behavior with difficult people. Communicate with them in a gentle, but clear manner.
4. Never retaliate. In the mind of the difficult person, it justifies their behavior.
5. If you have a moment of rational communication with a difficult person, try to help them see how destructive their behavior is to themselves, their family and their career.
6. When a difficult person goes into attack mode or excessive defensiveness, recognize that it is useless to argue with them … Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him. ~Prov. 26:4
7. Learn to recognize when your defense mechanisms come up. Realize that getting defensive will only exacerbate the process of dealing with difficult people.
8. A difficult person’s behavior is really out of your control. Pray for them and let God deal with them … But I say to you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. ~Matt. 5:44
9. When you’re facing on-going communication problems with a difficult person, it’s often helpful to engage the help of a neutral third party to facilitate the process of better communication.
10. Pray about it and ask God to come into your life and help you solve this problem. God gives hope because God gives life. Never let anyone make you feel less than you are worth. Only God has the final say of your worth. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Hold your head up high and walk with confidence. Tomorrow will be a brighter day. You are a child of God. He will take of you. Believe it. Own it. It is yours. :)
Have a bright and cheerful day!
2. Difficult people thrive in the center of controversy … Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife. ~Prov. 26:21 Don’t be drawn into unnecessary situations. Misery really does love company!
3. Set clear personal boundaries for appropriate behavior with difficult people. Communicate with them in a gentle, but clear manner.
4. Never retaliate. In the mind of the difficult person, it justifies their behavior.
5. If you have a moment of rational communication with a difficult person, try to help them see how destructive their behavior is to themselves, their family and their career.
6. When a difficult person goes into attack mode or excessive defensiveness, recognize that it is useless to argue with them … Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him. ~Prov. 26:4
7. Learn to recognize when your defense mechanisms come up. Realize that getting defensive will only exacerbate the process of dealing with difficult people.
8. A difficult person’s behavior is really out of your control. Pray for them and let God deal with them … But I say to you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. ~Matt. 5:44
9. When you’re facing on-going communication problems with a difficult person, it’s often helpful to engage the help of a neutral third party to facilitate the process of better communication.
10. Pray about it and ask God to come into your life and help you solve this problem. God gives hope because God gives life. Never let anyone make you feel less than you are worth. Only God has the final say of your worth. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Hold your head up high and walk with confidence. Tomorrow will be a brighter day. You are a child of God. He will take of you. Believe it. Own it. It is yours. :)
Have a bright and cheerful day!
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