Finding a Confidant: I found this very useful. I've always had problems identifying people I can count on and always try to handle my problems on my own. Then the weight bears heavily on me and i feel hopeless. This is an inspirational piece that was helpful to me in identifying the type of person I need to fall back on in times of crises. There are 100 billion people in the world. Why would you want to carry your burdens alone?
1. Humility. Seek someone who doesn’t try to impress people. Proud, self-righteous people are concerned about themselves and their image more than your needs and struggles.
2. A spirit of hope. A negative, fearful, or unhappy person can shadow all conversations with pessimism and woe. This kind of attitude can erode faith that’s already fragile.
3. Concern. If someone competes with you or has misrepresented you, avoid him or her as a confidant. Find someone with genuine concern but who won’t allow that concern to keep him or her from being honest with you.
4. Honesty. Flee from anyone with an agenda. If someone has something to gain by befriending you, keep looking. Along the same line, examine your motives regarding the person you choose as your confidant. For example, if your bad choices have left you on the verge of bankruptcy, a sudden urge to tell your troubles to the wealthiest person in the church probably indicates a hidden agenda.
5. Strength. It is tempting to choose a weak person as a confidant so you won’t feel so bad about yourself. Avoid anyone whom you can manipulate.
6. Availability. The person in whom you confide should be available and your lives should intersect (at church, work, or school). Proximity will give him/her the opportunity to observe your behavior and confront you as needed.
7. Gender. Persons of the opposite gender should be considered unavailable as confidants because unhealthy infatuations and emotional attachments are likely to develop.
8. Spirituality. Before you seek solace, encouragement, or direction from anyone, make sure he or she is a Christian. If you fail to do this, you’ll be adding more confusion to your life than you’re eliminating.
From www.newlife.com
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4 comments:
i agree with everything but the gender part.. i think its possible to have an opposite sex confidante that you can trust with your secrets and not develop a crush on( i know this cos 2 of my best friends are guys and i don't want to kiss or make out with either of them.. and they're cute guys.. but we're friends not potential 'dates'.. so its different)
Good to see you on. I'm happy you have success in having close male friends, but this never worked for me. A guy will usually want to be best friends with a girl that he can sleep with or has the potential to sleep with. They don't really have a clearly defined demacation. And then the two of you are not related, so basically what stops something bad from happening? You dig?
Greetings!
This is only to reserve a seat here and I will be back to comment properly after reading the above excellent post.
Ill be back. However, just in case I am taking too long, please give me a shout.
See you shortly.
Did you quit your blog?
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