Makes me wanna Holler

Very busy with work at the moment. Got a lot on my plate, namely my sister is getting married (traditional wedding) next week and everyone is running helter skelter trying to get everything in place, and I'm caught in the middle of all the madness. Have a work related project deadline this Friday, and have to give a presentation to my team members and company owner tomorrow afternoon (Monday). I never got a moment to myself this weekend in between getting my traditional outfit re-adjusted and spring cleaning my mom's house. Like my bro said, i need to arrange all my tasks according to priority and work from the most important to the least important. I find out that I'm exhausting myself on things that have a lower priority than what I'm actually supposed to be focused on at the moment. I am busy and doing stuff, but it feels like I'm not accomplishing much because I still have higher priority tasks staring back at me.

I eventually need to stop worrying about everyone else and take care of myself. Now after going over to my mom's house and helping her vacuum her house and steam her carpet, i've inhaled a lot of dust and i'm coughing, sneezing, have watery eyes with an asthma attack coming on as I write this, and basically feel like mouse crap. I still never took time out this weekend to prepare for tomorrow's presentation so have to get to work extra early tomorrow to get a head start.

I'm not happy. I feel so frustrated and tired. I'm lost in everyone else's world and feel the need to reign myself back in. I have classes starting next Monday and need to meet with an advisor to make sure i'm registered for the right classes. I'm sure I'll feel more relaxed next week when my work deadline has expired and my sister's wedding has passed. Aren't wedding supposed to be fun and looked forward to? This one has just turned out to be stressful in its preparation, even though I love my sister to death and would be nowhere else but here helping out. I just feel bottlenecked with everything in my life needing immediate attention at once.

When my life gets closer to normalcy, i'll be back to my normal blogging schedule, unless i get blindsided with unexpected workload on my first day of class, which begins next Monday.

Note to self: Get it together, girl :)

BTW, one thing that has been on my mind is Saddam's execution. I can't get the picture of him standing with a noose around his neck on the gallows out of my head. I felt sorry for him, sorry for America and the rest of the world in general. It seems like everyday I turn on the news, we take one step backwards. Death by hanging is something that reminds me of past, barbaric forms of execution like death by stoning, burning at the stake, being drawn and quartered, being beheaded and the list goes on. I stand firmly against capital punishment and this current happening just further validated my belief. George Bush and the Iraqi parliament should be ashamed of themselves. I am very familiar with the argument of how horrible he was as a dictator and I was not in support of his regime and alleged brutality. At the same time, I think it would have been best to leave his dethronement and lynching up to the Iraqis, definitely not in the manner it was carried out. If his people were unable to capture him before we did and bring him to justice, then we should have just left it alone. Just like how we have leave hundreds of existing dictators in the world alone that do not possess the oil that we so desperately need. Did America ever go after Idi Amin? I guess not. So everything is basically political and self-beneficial. There is something eerily wrong with one nation attacking another nation, putting its leader to death and putting another governing power in place. In the end you just inherit their enemies, hatred, inevitable drama and petty squabbles. Not to even mention how it's none of our business in the first place.

I guess Saddam's goal of being so brutal was to prevent himself from being overthrown. We can have justice but let's do it in a more humane way. Thank God i'm not a world leader so I don't have to make such tough decisions. Being a world leader is hard because you can have thousands of lives or thousands of deaths on your head. One loss of human life would be too much for me to bear. I wonder how George Bush sleeps at night.

I believe that Saddam's execution got us off to a bad start to the New Year. I hope things get better instead of worse. I want to be optimistic but I at the same time I have to be realistic.

Sorry this post is kind of choppy and somewhat pessimistic. These are just my personal thoughts at this time.

We pray for better days ahead of us and better nights in which to marinate on our mistakes and realign our steps towards what is good and upright.