Saturday, January 20, 2007

On Being Single

This is was on a friend's myspace page that was very inpiring and I thought I'd share with you guys

Too often people know what they want, or think they know at the moment, which is usually happines "right now". The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by willingness to accept the bad with the good do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile.

I have a blessing which is sometimes seen as a curse. I am blessed with the gift of being single. For most of the twenty-something young professionals, it seems the world has already come up with it's own set of expectations on how we should live life. The world expects us to finish school in our early twenties, get a job, find the love of our lives by the time we reach our mid-twenties, marry and have kids. But the thing is, not everyone sees their dreams come true in the same way.

The Art of Contentment. For most of us, being single will be more of a phase than a final destination. This is the best place to practice the art of contentment. Someday, I'm sure most of us will fall in love and get married. But the thing is, love will always be tested. Someone more handsome,beautiful, more charming, richer, funnier, sweeter would come along. If you have not practiced the art of contentment as a single person, chances are you would be tempted to want that and not cherish your chosen one.

Practicing the Art of Contentment as a single person means that you take what life gives you, good or bad, you're willing to see it through. It means you don't walk away everytime things get tough because it builds in you patience, perseverance, understanding and a hundred different virtues that people in a hurry will never have.

Being single means you would find how it feels to be alone thus, allowing you to cherish every moment you spend with your chosen one. The art of contentment means you wouldn't mind if life had to make you wait for so long to find the love of your life, because you know that the waiting would only make the finding much sweeter.

A Time to Know Yourself Better. Being single is a time of your life when you can get to know yourself better. You can pursue different interest and passions without having to ask another person's approval. It is a phase when you can keep focus on other things, discover your potentials and talents, and see yourself become more than what you expect to be.

Allow yourself to surprise you. Stop wasting precious energy trying to figure out why you're still romantically unattached. (Unless of course there is potential with genuine person ahem...ahem) It's all in the mind. Take the time to go see your friends, spend time with your family, do charity work and you will realize that you are not, and never for one moment, was alone. Try to get to know yourself first before you try to get to know other people. To be truly loved means to be known and accepted for who you are. How do you expect other people to know you and to love you, when you don't know who and what you really are?

A Choice Between Good and Best. Sometimes the dilemmas we face are not between what is absolutely bad and absolutely good. Sometimes, it's between good and best. Treat this stage of your life as a phase to evaluate who is good for you and who is best for you. Sometimes, you won't hear music, or feel magic to know who's best for you. The heart just knows and it doesn't need any romantically charged scenario to decide on the matter.

Trust in your heart, and trust that time will eventually lead you to, not to the perfect partner, but to the most suitable partner for you. Being single is a phase of life that we need to be thankful for, because being single means our hearts have yet to choose the best one for us. Take your time, the world will wait. Being married doesn't guarantee that it will make your life happy. It doesn't guarantee anything at all. Sometimes, it only brings two miserable people together only to make their life even more miserable.

Without the right intention, the emotional maturity, financial security and of course, unwavering love, you're better off unattached. Living Life. Don't put your life on hold for Mr. and Mrs. Right but don't let it waste away with Mr.or Mrs. Wrong. Life is about things that you do and happen to you everyday. It's not about the things that could have happened but never did, or things that you think would happen in the future. Live life now. Live it to the fullest and stop beating yourself up, trying to be perfect on a Saturday night date. Allow life to surprise you with it's most wonderful blessings.

8 comments:

Mak said...

I like this piece. It's ability to create a seperate culture from the norm is fascinating.

But then all humans have their attention deficit disorders.

Kafo said...

i like
being content against the odds.
i mean us twentysomethings r supposed to fit the cliche of being attached soon to be married.
defying the norm
i like it not becuz it goes against the norm but becuz it emphasizing really living and learning at the same time

Anonymous said...

I really like this...

LG said...

I like this.
It resonates with something I posted on my blog about the 10 benefits of being unmarried.

Confused Naija Girl said...

very well said.Thing dont always work out according to societies expectations.

chidi said...

luving dis piece

http://fya-dancer.blogspot.com

TMinx said...

Makes a lot of sense.

Anonymous said...

if it aint true then it aint nice!this is defin'tly true and so right!you dont neces'rily do fins cos you are expected to do them,you do them cos you want...........not to talk of tha whole enchilada of a lifetime committment?I SAY TO MY PEEP OUT THERE............TAKE YOUR TIME!COS ONCE YOU R IN,THERE'S NO BAILING OUT!nice 1,makes real sense to me.am out!